The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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