No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize