How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
