Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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