Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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