well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
