Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
