pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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