i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize