i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
