"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
smell my finger.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
