im drinking this country out of the recession.
this just has baby written all over it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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