Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
