just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
