this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
