Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
