office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
