Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
