She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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