I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How does one acquire holy water?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
