i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
