I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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