I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
