R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
