Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
