During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
