I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
