Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
