He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
