he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
