turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
