great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize