I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
