I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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