What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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