dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
