He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
