I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
