His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
