I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
