I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just high enough for therapy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
