Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My nipple is on Facebook.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
