yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
