Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
