Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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