Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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