Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Watching her eat just hurts me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
