you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
