every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
