she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
