ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
