i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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