how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
