I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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