It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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