ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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