i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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