Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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