How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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