Pregnant stripper...not hot.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They have beer where we have blood.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
