Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize