she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
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