Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
