Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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